Nicole

This is my grand idea, I have once again dragged Jill into one of my crazy ideas. Part of this blog is for you. (Yes, I know that we don’t know you. So rectify that  leave a comment or email us. We would like to know you.) Part of this is for us.

So that we are accountable to each other, ourselves,our friends, our families. Now to you as well.

We are on weight watchers. Learning how to free ourselves.

I joined WW in July 2016. I didn’t know what I was doing. I basically went diving into the deep end without knowing how to swim. I did great for about a month. Then money got tight and pasta is cheap. Veggies were not so cheap. I’m sure you have been there.

I was eating wrong,  very wrong. Nothing to horrible in the S.A.D. Diet that Americans are known for. I didn’t constantly have food in my mouth i didn’t eat four burgers in a meal or have full meals every 3 hours.

Nope, I drank earl grey or coffee in the mornings. The tea loaded with sugar. My coffee with milk and sugar. Two, three, five cups a day. I didn’t think a thing about it. I only ate at dinner time.

Our evening meal is important to me. I cook from scratch. No tv or electronics at the table. We eat together like a family blah blah blah.

I was so starved for substance by the time 6:30pm rolled around that I would eat. I would eat seconds, occasionally thirds, but it was the only meal I ate. Sure there were vegetables, usually loaded down with salted butter. Please don’t forget the starchy side. Can we say shells and cheese, french fries, stuffing, mashed or fried potatoes.

Yeah, sounds like a shit ton of excuses doesn’t it.

So I joined weight waters online on a whim. Tracked everything. I got discouraged. I was seeing results. I lost 30lbs in a snap.  I wasn’t trying to  make necessity changes I was trying to fit my horrible diet into workable points.

IT DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT!

I was starving. By noon I was out of points. At that time I had 42 points a day. My tea, my precious link to life; ate my points before I had a chance to.

Did I try an sugar alternative, no those are for people with diabetes, I will just stop cold turkey after years, YEARS of super loading drinks with sugar. At least it wasn’t pop right?

In retrospect I was a dumb ass! Who was I to admit I had a problem.

I didn’t have a problem not at all. Not  me, I’m to smart for that. I know better. I know how to lose weight. Eat less move more. 

I wish someone would have hit me with a wake up call. Never mind that addiction is rampant in my family. Forget that the majority of my mom’s family is diabetic including HER.

INVINCIBLE NICOLE THAT WAS ME.

I couldn’t make my food fit into my tracking without lying to myself. Well, that’s not a comfortable thing for anyone to face.

So a decision had to be made. Continue lying to myself or face the facts. I tried to lie to myself for  two more months. I tried to lie to my weight watchers tracker, but the damn thing was always there. It knows no bake cookies don’t have 3 points. They are sugar and fat. They are about 8 points. And I  would only track 3 points anyhow.

About the time thanksgiving rolled around I gave up. Done no more tracking. But I didnt cancel my membership. I didn’t delete the nagging little accountability buddy of an app. Instead it mocked me. It torched my soul.

I spoke about my days working smart points correctly like it was my childhood. Long gone. Jill told me how they worked for her before her life fell apart, she enjoyed it a lot.

I liked seeing the numbers dropping, but i was so freaking hungry because I still only ate once a day and stuffed myself.

Whatever! I can do it. Sign up again the e-mail beckoned to me. That’s exactly what I did. Sure my weight started to reduce. Then I realized I wasn’t lying about my sugar. Or trying to live off of watermelon, (though this may be a recurring summer thing 😂😂)

Guess what. That was a month ago. So starting today I am the lowest weight I have been in at least five years.

I weigh 252.2

My heaviest weight was 298. I’m positive i had stepped in to the world of 3s a few times. My weight was never just packing on the pounds.it was a mix of horrible eating, having babies and just not knowing or doing better.

I know better. I’m doing better. My favorite quote lately has been

“Food can be the best medicine or the slowest poison”

Ding ding ding. The bells went off, the light lit up, the lab rat got it’s reward.

So I am trying to do better. No, I am doing better.

A blogger named  Holly from www.300poundsdown.com wrote a great article that hit me hard. Ok then.. you will. So I am.

I’m learning and I will share that with you. That simple mantra really gets me through some rough days.

38 smartpoints a day.

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2 thoughts on “Nicole

  1. Denise Tanner says:

    Im proud of you for taking the bull by the horns and watching what you are eating. Im 1200 miles away cheering you on. Yes i will join you as soon as the extra trips stop. Keep up the great work

    Liked by 1 person

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